I have been having a pity party of one. I have felt depressed and lethargic and have to force myself to get up and get dressed and get on with the day. I know that part  of the reason is Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have had it all my life. When we moved to California in 1976, it went away. Then we moved to Portland and the first year we were here, I bought a happy light which I sat next to every morning as I had my coffee and checked my e-mail. I also had a Rise and Shine Wake up light which came on like the sun was rising, getting brighter over a matter of minutes. I also had the huge studio with daylight florescent lighting. I had to be careful to not spend too much time there at night or I would have a problem falling asleep.

Over time, I think I adapted to the changing seasons. Last year, we moved here to the condo which is much darker and up against a hill. Last winter was fairly mild and so the lack of sunshine didn’t seem to be a problem, but this year? Argh! Dark and rainy and miserable.

The other problem is my damn knee pain. I am in pain most of the day and wake up early in the morning with more pain. The amazing brace is helping, in fact, I am so happy when I can wear it, but I am still limited to 2-3 hours a day. The brace actually changes the alignment of my body and so even though the pressure on my knee joint is released, the rest of my body is not happy so I have to ease into time in the brace. It does seem to have a residual effect, in that I feel pretty good for a couple of hours after I take it off.

And so, starting today, I am going to try to deal with this as best I can. I have all of these symptoms  and so I will try to work on the treatment because we all know that this is just not me.

I did have a lovely end to yesterday. Wonderful Christmas concert and dinner with Lisa and Clay.

Thanks for letting me share this. It helps to get it out there.