I was talking to someone today about anesthesia and how I love the feeling of going under its spell. It is very seductive. Makes you realize why some can become addicted to certain substances. However, the coming to after anesthesia is not so seductive. There is the awareness that you are not the same as before you went under. There are sometimes tubes and bandages and a buzzing sound in your head. Then someone has there face in your face saying your name and you are wondering where am I and who are you. Next Wednesday I will be seduced and then have to come back to reality.

I had some pre-op stuff done on Tuesday – I got poked, wired, questioned and pronounced fit for surgery. I also saw the Breast Cancer nurse and it was a very nice conversation. She told me something that made me feel better about myself. When I realized that I had breast cancer for the third time, I wondered what I had done to perpetuate this condition in my body. She told me that she felt it was amazing that I had this disease three times and all three times, my body had fought the cancer and kept it from spreading and becoming invasive. So I am feeling a little bionic!

Thank you to all who sent me good wishes after my last post of feeling pregnant. I am a little more energetic and less nauseous. In fact yesterday I felt down right normal. Then today I was a bit queazy again, but lunch at Shogun with green tea, miso soup and some great Japanese food cured that.

Sunday is my son, Mark’s, birthday and my son-in-law, Jack’s, birthday. So I am making post cards. I finished Jack’s tonight. He is an architect so I designed him a minimalist house. The other card is for a friend who did something special for me. It is sort of a surreal dessert sunrise. I thought the fabric looked like cacti. I have two more to make, but I’m done for tonight and tomorrow I am finishing the church newsletter. On Saturday, Steve is going to be gone all day so Maggie and I are going to hang out and clean my studio and get organized for when I come to and want to create again. I have a lot of stuff to make and I want to be ready when the muse speaks to me.

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