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I haven’t talked about my breast cancer and mastectomy in a while. I put it on the back burner, but, today, I had an appointment to be fitted for a prosthetic and new bras. I was shown all the styles of bras available and then off to the fitting room which doubles as the wig fitting room. The first prosthetic made me have small versions of bullet breast’s a la Pam of PamDora’s Box. Now, in her illustrations, they are quite cute and perky, but on me, let’s just say, it was not a pretty picture.
Another problem is that I am round, firm, and fully packed, but I have an A cup. I have never been able to find bras that fit comfortably and, the bras I was interested in were not available in my size.
Melt down. The fitter left to rummage in the storage room for something that would work for me. My eyes began to well up with tears. I went into my meditation mantra: ” I am aware that I am breathing in; I am aware that I am breathing out.” Just be calm, I told myself, when what I wanted to do was bolt from that place and never return. I looked up and saw about 25 pairs of doe eyed heads with identical, insipid smiles, each wearing a different color and style of wig staring at me. It’s a good thing that I have a well honed sense of humor because it saved the day.
She came back with a “tear drop” shaped boob and another style of bra and voila!, I looked pretty darn “au natural”. After having a fiberfill boob for 6 weeks, I keep touching this thing and marvelling at how natural it feels. I even had Steve give it a feel! He agreed. I don’t know if he got a thrill – he was on a work related conference call at the time!!
A bathing suit, however, is not in my immediate future.
YOU ARE SUPER FANTASTIC, GERRIE! I love that you are so open and realistic about your health. The tear drop shape boob sounds perfect! I’d shove it all in a swimming suit if I were you and enjoy myself! Thank you for sharing your story.
Gerrie, I admire your candor in dealing with with your illness. Your straightforwardness is inspiring!
Hope to hear from you soon so that I can learn how to print on organza 😉
Take care
Dorothee
I too have wandered over here via your daughter’s–what courage and what honesty—and what spirit! 🙂
Just found your blog, via finding your daughters’ blogs this morning. What a creative family! I look forward to reading all three of you! 🙂
Hi Gerri, glad there was a happy ending to the bra-fitting ordeal. I’ve always hated bras for all sorts of reasons. Actually I came up with PaMdora last year when I was about five months pregnant (the furthest I’ve ever gotten) and I was in shock at how my boobs were growing since I’ve always been very flat chested.
When I showed up at our art quilt group with a completed PaMdora quilt, one of the most timid, quiet members of the group raised her hand and asked why PaMdora only had one boob. It never occurred to me that’s how someone would perceive the character because for me it was a perspective issue, not a missing boob issue.
Well the whole group about died laughing when another member jumped up and indigently shouted, “Well, some of us do only have one boob!” We had no idea before that.
Gerrie,
Your stength is truly awe-inspiring. Just remember it’s okay to feel bad too. Love ya…
welcome home, mom! I loved reading this story. amazing how looking at a row of wigs can make you appreciate what you do have! and glad to know you got a proper fit. i’d say you not only have a well-honed sense of humor, but a well-honed sense of irony as well. i hope to talk to you soon!
love,
lisa